Parenting IS Easy, Said No One Ever! - SE3EP10 - Chananya Abraham

Today, we are thrilled to welcome a very special guest, Chananya Abraham. A psychotherapist with a heart for empowering individuals, Chananya has dedicated over a decade to mastering the art of communication within the intricate dynamics of the parent and adolescent relationship.

Chananya's expertise extends to working with teenagers, young adults, and their families to be the best versions of themselves. His approach is deeply rooted in the transformative power of resilience, empathy, and the willingness to embrace life’s complexities with a sense of humor. His mantra 'And...that’s OK!' is a testament to his philosophy that within the chaos of life lies the potential for growth.

As the host of the acclaimed podcast 'Parenting IS Easy, Said No One Ever!,' Chananya blends humor with heartfelt insights, offering a fresh perspective on the trials and tribulations of parenthood.  His multifaceted approach includes DBT, IFS, CBT, and trauma-based interventions.

Connect with Chananya Abraham

https://cyuahtherapy.com/about/

https://www.instagram.com/parentingiseasysaidno1ever/

https://open.spotify.com/show/6Dt5auxMnOk0jOtu5bsxVn

AI generated transcript

Jamie (00:00.738)

Hello parents and welcome to Parenting in the Digital Age, the podcast where we delve into the unique challenges and opportunities of raising children in today's fast-paced tech-driven world. Each episode features conversations with experts and thought leaders who provide actionable insights and practical guidance for navigating life as modern parents. Today I'm very excited to welcome a special guest, Chananya Abraham, a psychotherapist with a heart for empowering individuals.

Chananya has dedicated over a decade to mastering the art of communication within the intricate dynamics of parents and adolescent relationships. Ghananya's expertise extends to working with teenagers, young adults and their families to be the best versions of themselves. His approach is deeply rooted in the transformative power of resilience, empathy and the willingness to embrace life's complexities with a sense of humour. His mantra, and that's okay, 

is testament to his philosophy that within the chaos of life lies the potential for growth. And as the host of the acclaimed podcast, Parenting is Easy, said no one ever, Hananya blends humor with heartfelt insights, offering a fresh perspective on the trials and tribulations of parenthood.

Jamie (00:00.57)

Hello, Chananya, welcome to the show. Please share with our listeners in your own words what you do and what you are passionate about.

Chananya (00:08.238)

So first of all, Jamie, thank you so much for having me. It's a real honor to be here. So my name is Chananya Abraham. I am the host of a podcast as well, Parenting is Easy, Said No One Ever. And I'm also a psychotherapist. I am based in America, in Connecticut to be specific. And my practice is based around parenting and specifically around the relationship that parents have with their children and children have with their parents. And also...

working with children and adolescents as they transition through different stages in their life from high school into college, university, and as they start acclimating themselves into their careers. And I think that concept of communication and relationships within those different transition places can be very difficult at times. And that's something that we talk about a lot in my room and the workshops that I run and on the podcast as well.

I guess the model, the way I like talking about it is how to like your kids as much as you love them and vice versa. So that's something that we focus a lot on.

Jamie (01:10.894)

Wonderful. Thank you for that intro. So let's talk about communication in the digital age. You know, I speak to many parents and they feel disconnected from their teens. And some parents accepting that as the norm, it's just part of teenhood. Maybe we were supposed to go through this disconnection stage. But, you know, are there any strategies or ideas for parents to help them stay connected with their teenagers in this, you know, particularly digital era?

Chananya (01:35.958)

Yeah, so it's a really tough question. And it's really hard to say, okay, well, let's get through everything that's needed within a half hour. But just to give some basics for how to go about it. I heard a comment from a mentor of mine. The way he likes talking about it is, we wanna create an environment where instead of kids are looking at a situation like, I don't wanna tell my parents that. What we wanna turn into is, I can't wait to tell my parents.

And I think in order to create an environment like that where kids want to share with us, we have to create an environment where kids want to share with us. And that comes down to a few basic things. And I think one of the most important parts of that is keeping the door open. And it's not just about saying, hey, you can come talk to me whenever you want. But even if there are things that you're doing that are really important, it could be prepping for the next day, it could be laundry, it could be cooking dinner. Excuse me.

whatever it is that we're doing to create an environment where when they want to talk to us, they feel like they have us to be talking to. And I think that's very important when it comes to any sort of communication and relationship we want to have with our kids is creating the environment for them that they feel like, you know what, I could go talk to my parents. I'm having a problem at school on my sports team. I'm having a problem with some peers. I'm having a problem with a teacher or a potential person I want to get into a relationship with.

But I know I can't talk to them now because they're busy with that and they always get upset at me when I talk to them about that. So I'm not going to talk to them. I'll come back to it a little later. What happens later? Yeah, it's not a big deal. I don't need to talk to them about it. So we created an environment where we're not really accessible. So I think one of the most important things is to create an environment to be successful or in that relationship aspect of things is to let them know that, hey, this door is not only open and unlocked, but it's easy access to you.

pretty much at any time. Now that doesn't mean that there doesn't have to be times where a child knows that hey I can't go talk to my parents because they're doing something. But I think them knowing that I'm available as a parent at all times can be very helpful to that relationship. So that's really I think the first thing that is very, very important. I think another thing that I like talking about is creating an environment or a specific place, some people might call it like a safe place, where conversation and communication can happen.

Chananya (04:00.97)

So the way that looks like and the way I talk about it is creating a time or a place where things can be said, whether it's critiques, anger, or even just to vent about the parenting skills or lack thereof sometimes that us parents have. And I think it's very, very normal and common for parents to go through stages where they're going through things and they don't necessarily parent the way they would like. But to give kids the opportunity to talk about it and say, hey, I don't like when you do that or...

I didn't like when this happened when my friends come over. But just to have that happen by the dinner table sometimes can be really hard. So when we create situations where it's an open concept environment, so it could be once a week going out to a store together and saying, hey, during this time, you can say whatever you want, it won't be held against you, it won't be anything that I have a right to say to either reprimand or disagree or go on the defense, but creating an environment where, yes, you can say,

those things that in other situations might not be allowed, but we're putting ourselves, we're making those situations very, very accessible to our kids to be able to say things to us. And obviously within limits, within reason, and the delivery should be as such where it is respectful, but I think creating that environment where, you know, when we go out for ice cream or when we go for this drive, no one else is in the car, there's no phones, no music even, but we're just going to talk about certain things that are happening and that environment is, okay, I hear you.

I'm going to think about that. I'm going to take that into consideration. So I think those two things really help set the whole entire situation that will hopefully help when it comes to kids wanting to communicate with us. Just remember, communication is two ways. As much as we may want our children to be interviewing, to be able to have a conversation with us, but if we don't create an environment for that, then it's never going to happen.

we as parents have a responsibility to create that environment for our kids. So those are the two main things that I would say are important in order to harness and to bring in that concept of communication with our kids.

Jamie (06:10.422)

That's powerful and practical advice. You know, even as a parent, like I've, I'm guilty myself, you know, just thinking the environment exists, you know, and saying, you know, hey, I'm here if you need me, but I'm not, I'm not actually there. I'm not actually present. I'm not actually available. And I like how you set that up and you create that space for them. And you're able to say to them, hey, this is a time when you can say these things or if you need to say these things, and I'll listen, I won't judge, you know. And then...

than listening and not judging and listening to what they actually have to say. So thank you. That's a really important advice. On your website, I was reading about some of the therapies and the things that you do. What is DBT? Help me understand what DBT is and perhaps how it can be applied to everyday parenting scenarios.

Chananya (06:57.206)

Oh, that's a great question. And one that I, at least now that I've been in the field for over a decade and having opportunities to really get to know it, I first want to talk a little bit about why I like DBT and then we'll get into what it is. So DBT stands for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Pretty much what it's meaning to work on is the concept of choices. We have a dialect. We have two different decisions in our head. Like, you know, let's say use an example of, well, I want more ice cream, but I don't want to gain weight.

So what do I do? And there are different things that could be done within the framework of what the therapy is that could be very beneficial. And I think creating an environment where we have choices, we have things that we can do, but not only that, even in choices, we're gonna make mistakes. And we can also use that as a learning experience. The example that I like thinking of is going in some sort of corn maze or some sort of...

contraption where you have to go from one end of the room to another end of the room. In that, it could be a little bit difficult at times or you might hit a dead end. But what did you learn? That I learned that this area is not an area that I can go to get to the end. It's an area that I learned doesn't work. And I think in our situations and experiences in life and in parenting, certain situations work, certain situations don't work. And that's okay, we learn from it. So it's not that I failed, but I learned that this doesn't work.

And I think that itself can be a very, very powerful tool when it comes to parenting, to realize, okay, this way of dealing with things with my child is not necessarily going to work with this child. For people that have multiple children, you can't take all the tricks and modalities and things and experience with one child and say, well, let me just apply this to exhibit B. Doesn't work that way because every child is different and we have to know that every child is different. So DBT is very, very...

customizable for each individual and for each situation and for each person themselves every situation is different so it might be different for how I'm going to deal with this situation on Tuesdays as opposed to Wednesdays and that's okay there's nothing wrong with that so DBT sort of is very customizable and allows us to sort of take different things that could be beneficial within the within the framework of what DBT is that can that can be I think very helpful now the other reason why I really like it is

Chananya (09:21.738)

started by someone, Marsha Linehan, who is actually still alive and I think she's based in Washington state. And she actually started it and her whole experience with saying we need to do something was because at one point unfortunately she was actually inpatient. She had to be hospitalized and I think her diagnosis was bipolar and realizing that hey, just because I have something wrong with me doesn't mean that there is something wrong.

me and let me work on that. Let me see what I can do. And that's where the inspiration behind what DBT actually came from for it to be something that is for the masses now and used for a lot of cases, not just for bipolar, for people that are experiencing bipolar type symptoms. Just because you might have that doesn't mean you're actually diagnosed with it. And that applies to so many different situations just because I might have a problem with my emotion regulation, which is one of the main, I guess you could say pillars of what DBT is.

So how do I regulate my emotions in this type of situation? And I think it's really, really customizable and really helpful to say, okay, there are different parts of what DBT can offer. And I highly recommend to all your listeners to look into the four main pillars of what DBT is. And we talk about interpersonal effectiveness, we talk about distress tolerance, we talk about emotion regulation and mindfulness. Those are the four main parts of what DBT are. And the way I sort of look at it is,

Olympic symbol where you have these rings that are all attached to each other and if you pull one The other one is going to be pulled as well And that's what the four legs are is that yes You're going to work on distress tolerance and how to tolerate and how to de-stress in different situations But at the same time you're also working on emotion or regulation so it's sort of working with these things together to mold a Parental guidance technique that could be beneficial for this type of situation

Jamie (11:19.622)

Yeah, well, incredible. And so when parents are dealing with mental health challenges in their kids, it can be stressful and challenging for them and the family in general. So how would you encourage parents to maintain their own mental health while managing the stresses of parenting?

Chananya (11:25.57)

Thank you.

Chananya (11:36.65)

Well, great question. And one that I guess some of us might consider the million dollar question as a parent. But at the same time, I think it's really, really important to first and foremost acknowledge what's going on and what you're feeling. The way I like talking about is what I call making a U-turn. So you make a U-turn into self and you look at self and say, okay, what's happening in me? What am I experiencing? What am I going through? Yeah, today was a little hard and getting my

getting my grade school child to doing their homework right now is just not working. And it doesn't necessarily mean that because it's not working, therefore, let me try harder. Let me be a little more forceful. Who's to say that's the answer? Maybe the answer is, right now, maybe there shouldn't be homework. Maybe we shouldn't be doing something and let's do something else. Of course, homework is important, but at the same time, it's not the end all be all when it comes to a child doing what they're supposed to be doing.

And it's not necessarily, I guess, the best way to look at it. It's not worth it sometimes to win the war if you might lose the battle and understanding that certain situations might call for me dealing with things differently, and especially when it comes to self, if I'm having a hard day because of things that I've gone through in my day, that goes into a big part of the, of the recipe of what my parenting is going to be like for the rest of the day. And I have to understand that. So I think regulating and really seeing what's happening itself is so important.

At the same time, we talk about parenting, there's also, I guess you could say, reparenting the parent in a certain way, which is a parent taking care of themselves. Like, well, I know this is the way my parents dealt with me and it didn't work. So I want to make sure not to do that with my child. Well, let's say your child is a little more structured as a eight year old than you were. So maybe things have to be dealt with a little bit differently. And also could be the opposite. Let's say because I know how hard my parents were on this, I'm not going to, I'm going to make sure that and it worked well for me.

I'm going to try that also with my child and I'm going to make them do that more also as with my child. But if we are able to see what's happening within self, if we're able to see how we're doing inside, that will be so helpful for how we're going to be parenting. And then we also have the concept which for a very long time, I had a hard time saying these words, but I think I've come to learn that it's very important words. I guess in the therapy world, we call it self-care.

Chananya (14:00.982)

But the way I like talking about it, I guess a little more of a harsher word is what I would call being selfish. And the way I say it that way is because it's very important for parents to be selfish slash self-care. Taking care of yourself is so important. There's a reason why on airplanes they say to put your mask on first before putting the oxygen on your child because you have to do things for yourself. Now, I'm not here to say that make sure that, you know, all your kids have all their food and all their snacks before you take a bite.

If you're gonna be a hangry parent, not gonna work so well. So it's important to know how to deal with things that you're in, but knowing what's happening on the inside with yourself, and through you being able to take care of what's happening with yourself, you'll be a better parent as well. So knowing how to do things for yourself is gonna be very, very important as well.

Jamie (14:50.266)

Yeah, fascinating. You know, parenting is one of those things that, you know, there is no manual for and we kind of, you know, watch. You said this earlier, like we kind of see what our parents do. We kind of either do the same or move away from that. And it's funny because everything else in life we study for, you know, we prepare for. Like I've seen someone fly a plane, but it doesn't mean I can fly a plane. Right. And I think parents need to maybe take a step back sometimes and just.

And your podcast fills a great gap in that sort of space where parents can find the tools and find the resources and find the education. But many choose not to or many don't or sort of, you know, maybe live in a bubble. But anyway, I'm getting off topic. How can parents, let's talk about resilience for one minute. How can parents foster resilience in children in the face of challenges, adversity or failure?

Chananya (15:40.366)

Very, very loaded question. I know there's a lot more to that question than what you just asked, but on the surface, I'll answer it in a surface way because I think it's a very important topic. And I think really what it comes down to, more than most other things, not to say other things are not important, more than most other things is by mirroring and by kids seeing a parent the way they are with their resilience.

There are some amazing books out there when we talk about resilience and talk about being the best version of ourselves and doing things in a way where you got this and you can do this and having the right motivational quotes. There are plenty of those out there. But I think really what comes down to is a parent showing their resilience and therefore a child seeing that within themselves that, hey, I can do this also. And to your point that you were talking about before regarding there not being a manual,

I believe there's a very good reason why there is no manual. It's because we might look at it as that, oh, let me try this manual for this child. And who's to say that the manual that you think is out there is right for your child? Now, we can learn all different tips and tricks, listen to all the podcasts and all the professionals, but who's to say that that's going to be good for my child? I think one of the main jobs of a parent and the biggest responsibility is, okay, let me take all this information that's out there.

How can I apply it to my child? Because no one should be telling you, this is what you should be doing. No, as a parent, if you're an involved parent that's devoted to the wellbeing of your child, it's all about you, it's not about the books. And it's about you taking control and saying, I got this, let me figure this out. And even if the kids realize along that road that, okay, this is not working, let's try something else. Well, if the kids are with you, that's teaching resilience. Because mom's trying A, B and C, we're speaking to this type of professional.

going to this type of doctor, things are not working. That lesson in itself and that experience that a child is doing together with their parents could be such an important lesson. The best example that I could think of for this, I remember listening to a lecture once and one of the questions that were asked, we're talking about deciding to start a family and...

Chananya (17:56.274)

and find a loved one and start building a family at a young age. And one of the questions that were asked was, why would I want to do that? Why would I want to start a family at a young age? Shouldn't I first work on my career? Shouldn't I first get a house, maybe even pay off the mortgage, have a nice stable way of life and then go ahead and get married? And honestly, at that point when I heard it, I was already married with two kids and I was like, oh, that's such a great question. I wish I would have done that in a certain way. But at the same time, I think there was

I did create some doubt within myself when I heard that question. I understand that. But the answer that was given was a very, very wise answer. And unfortunately, I don't remember the guy's name that was answering. But I remember what he said. And he said, because one of the most important things you can do as a parent is to have your child watch you grow up. And as children watch us grow up and they watch us struggle to have a...

balance between work life, struggle between how much attention I should be giving my child right now as opposed to knowing that I have a deadline for work and also I want to take a rest and also I have to clean up the house and also I have to fix the roof and do all these things, then that constant struggle slash balance that we have, a child wanting us to go through that is one of the greatest acts of parenting that we can do. So if we're going to have a stable life, which is nothing wrong with.

But if we're going to be having a life where, hey, I already have a house, bills are good, we have nothing to worry about, it does take away a little bit from the parenting experience, especially when it comes to a child watching us in a certain way. So I think that's a very important point that I'm not here to say that I want you to get married young. But I think there's a certain, I think, added benefit when it comes to a child watching us go through something and how we deal with it. And I think...

when we are able to mirror things properly for them in a way where they're able to see, oh, this is the way mommy dealt with death. This is the way daddy deals with having some financial troubles. And a child sees that, that's one of the best things we can do on a parent if we're dealing with it properly.

Jamie (20:06.994)

Great advice, great advice indeed. I was thinking earlier, you know, when I used to go out as a child, mom wanted me to check in, I used to pull up my car at a phone box and put some coins in and call my mother. These days, we've got, you know, access to technology has changed, easy to communicate with my daughter. It was just a funny thought I was having earlier. But it led me to think that, you know, technology has changed the parent-child communication dynamic in some respects.

So how do you believe that it's changed? Do you think it's for the better or worse? I know it's a broad question, but in what ways do you believe technology has changed that parent-child dynamic?

Chananya (20:46.518)

Well, I, it is hard to answer that question, you know, like in, in a podcast form, especially with the time that we have, I could tell you from what I've seen both professionally and maybe even personally as a parent as well. And I would say that one of the biggest things that technology for its benefit that has done is could help foster more communication and, and can help bring about the concept of connection towards others, whether it's.

whether it's family, whether it's group chats, or having something where it's just, you know, making a surprise party for a loved one, and having that technology can be very beneficial to that and sharing pictures with grandparents and aunts and uncles and having a source where all information can go to be more connected towards others. And I would say the biggest part of that to be aware of.

is also the biggest, the bigger distraction that it causes today than it ever has before. What I mean by ever has, meaning there's no other thing out there that I think has been more of a distraction to the family dynamics than technology. Again, that's a personal opinion. I'm not saying that with any facts, with any scientific basis, but I think for the most part we have to know how to use it. And it's not about saying, oh, this is horrible, let's stay away from this. It's more about, okay, this is out there, how can we use this to our benefit?

Jamie (21:57.106)

Thank you.

Chananya (22:09.834)

What it comes down to, I think, is something that I've learned from. I think one of the biggest pillars in the psychology slash trauma world today, Bessel Vandelkoek, in his book, The Body Keeps Its Score. One of the things that he talks about a lot over there is, and at least he's talked about in lectures that I've heard and supervision that I've been fortunate to get from him, is the concept of A-B-C, always be curious. And as long as we stay curious about the technology, about our own self regarding our...

our parenting techniques and how we're taking care of ourselves and how we're taking care of our children, when we stay curious, that's when we'll stay positive, we'll stay learning, we'll stay on the forefront of whatever needs to get done. So yes, technology can 100% be a very good thing and it can really help us broaden our concept of what communication is, but also be aware of what it can do and the distraction it can cause. And it's a fine line, but one that needs to be reassessed constantly, constantly.

Jamie (23:07.738)

Yeah, yeah, so true. I've got a couple of teenagers myself and some older kids, but you often see them going through change and emotionally and sometimes they're withdrawn, sometimes they're more extroverted, if that's the right word. But when they're going through challenges, what are some of the signs as a parent that your team might benefit from speaking with a psychotherapist?

Chananya (23:37.29)

Hmm. That's a great question. Also, very, very low to question. So really, I think it depends on what's happening. So what was there beforehand to know what's not there now? How much of it has to do with the situation? How much has to do with what's happening on the inside? For example, I actually had someone in my office today. Parents are very not happy with the teenager's communication with them.

And from the little bit that I was able to pick up, and we just had a intake today, basically the kid is very, very busy right now. He's just starting high school for the first time. He's already taking AP classes, which is like pre-college courses in ninth grade as a freshman, and he's on the basketball team. And he also has to travel a little further distance than he was before. So if you add all those things together with the new rigorous schedule in high school, in ninth grade over here where he is.

That's something that can be really hard to sort of get into a new structure of change. And parents are more like, hey, he's not communicating with us. He's not paying attention by the dinner table. He's very distracted. You know, he's not hanging out with us on weekends when really all he wants to do is chill, not think about school, want to play his video games that he doesn't get a chance to play the entire week. And the parents have it under parental guidance. So he doesn't have a chance to do.

things to chill. So all he wants to do on weekends is chill, which I don't blame him in a certain way. Now there has to be a balance how to go about that chill but also have the family. But I think when we go through changes, it's about assessing the situation. What is different? You know, whether it's is the eating habits different right now? Is there a physical appearance difference? Is it a social? Is there less patience? Are these child being more

Chananya (25:29.854)

not to say that being reserved is a good thing, but it's understanding what level of difference there is in a child's change that they're going through. And the example that I like thinking about is a tree. As a tree gets older, it starts branching out more. Doesn't mean that it's a bad thing, but branches, even though it may have started here, but as it branches out, it's creating more. And at a certain point, it'll start creating its own leaves. And then from there, another tree hopefully one day.

But that happens over time and it doesn't necessarily mean that it loses its core, its middle, the part that it was connected to, its adolescence and its young teenage years. All that means is right now is just a different time. So assessing the scenario I think is something that is very, very important when it comes to seeing do we need to seek help for it. Also I would think about looking at the sleeping patterns and maybe hygiene as well, social life. What is different? And if the child has a good friend and you happen to speak to them,

say to call them. But if, let's say, you know, they make a comment to you, like, yeah, you know, your Johnny has been a little bit off lately. Okay, how long has that been going on for? What do you notice being the differences, right? When you think about those ABC type questions, you get to sort of see, okay, so he's not sleeping well. He looked like he'd lost a little bit of weight. His grades went down a little bit. Maybe it's time for us to assess this a little bit more. In a non-accusatory way, approaching the child and saying,

You know, I'm just curious, you know, things have been a little bit different recently. I noticed that you're much more reserved, your whole body language is much more down and much more reserved towards the fetal position type things, which could be a sign of depression, it could be a sign of something else happening. So just being aware of what that situation is, being aware of what a child might be going through and then saying, okay, maybe it's time we talk to someone else. Do you think you can benefit from?

from having someone to talk to, or maybe going to see a medical professional so that we can see has there been a change in weight, a change in the physique and how the person makes eye contact. All those things could be a part of what's happening to a child, but to first observe for self to see, okay, what is different? What is the concern that's coming about because of it? Because not necessarily every change is a bad change. So it's about understanding that, okay, there are things that are affected.

Chananya (27:51.106)

this is now being affected, whether it's the family dynamics, school grades, social life, and then from there saying, okay, can we benefit from seeking out outer, more professional

Jamie (28:02.278)

That's incredibly helpful and insightful, and I appreciate you sharing that. Parenting is easy, so no one ever. That's your podcast. So tell us a little bit about the podcast and maybe your inspiration behind it.

Chananya (28:15.31)

So it was always something that I always liked podcasts. I think the concept of having a talk with other people could be very helpful. I know I learned a lot from the podcast that I listened to. And I think it was during the during lockdown that I was like, you know, maybe this is a project that I should get started on. I did one or two interviews and things got really busy. I didn't get a chance to do it. And about, I would say about three, four months ago, I realized, you know what? I really, really wanna do this podcast. And I realized

I'm blessed to love doing what I do. And I have, whether it's one-on-one sessions, family sessions, sometimes group sessions, and a few groups slash workshops that I would run in the trauma world. But I wanted to reach a bigger audience. So that's where a podcast came to play because I realized the podcast is a place where I could talk to people that are 14-hour time differences for me.

I can have conversations with people that may speak English but may speak a different dialect than I do because they might be from Brazil or from Ireland. I just did a few of the places that I've had the opportunity to actually speak to people. So the concept came about of realizing, hey, there is something that I can do out there that can be more to the world and not just in my office itself. And when it comes to parenting, well, it's not easy.

And for anyone that thinks that it is, either they're not a parent or they're not parenting. And the way I look at it is we're all looking for guidance in some way, shape or form. And there are so many different topics, and just you know, whether it's from breastfeeding to dental care to safety in schools. So many different topics that are out there that are so important for us to know more information about that I figured having conversations with people that are professionals in specific areas.

whether it's the ones that I mentioned or maybe other areas as well, that I think can be so beneficial for us to share and talk about and listen to other people and what they have to say, as long as people are staying curious. And hopefully it's through the conversations that we have, people are able to say, hey, that applies to me. We recently had an episode about loss and how the parent-child dynamic changes when mom gets remarried. And that's a very, very touchy and very specific, intimate.

Jamie (30:10.194)

Ahem.

Chananya (30:30.578)

feeling that people might have based on their situation. Okay, so how does that apply to you? And what can you learn from this mom and son story that could be beneficial to you? So really, I think it depends on what a situation is for what you might wanna listen to. And that's really the goal of the podcast is to have conversations with many different professionals and parents that have experienced specific areas in parenting that we all need help in. And that's what hopefully we will continue to do here on Parenting is Easy podcast.

Jamie (30:59.534)

Yeah, wonderful. It's, if I'm being completely honest with our version of the podcast was about, had a business objective and it was very much then aligned with trying to make an impact. But what it turned into very quickly was it became an education. Like sitting across from people like you, I started becoming a better parent and I thought.

Like this literally, I mean, I've made, you know, page of notes here that I'm saying this, no, I'm gonna take this away. Now, I'm probably not gonna implement everything, but I'm gonna think differently about the way I approach conversations with my kids, the way I approach conversations with others. And so I think the unexpected benefit of podcasting for me was just being able to learn and then of course create impact. So look, thank you so much for your time today, your generosity. It's a conversation we've been trying to have for some time, Khananya.

Thank you for making it just a fun, fun question sort of to round off things. We ask all of our guests is then and that is if we had a time machine and you could go back to your say 12 year old younger self, what's perhaps one piece of advice that you give to your younger self?

Chananya (32:07.482)

I've actually thought about this one, so it's not something I need to think about much. And I would say two words to them, and I would say be patient. And I think that's something that I'm constantly telling myself now, and I think if I would have had that tattooed into my emotional brain when I was younger, that would have helped a lot in a lot of different areas as well.

Jamie (32:27.362)

Yeah, super. Now, Ananya, if people want to get in contact with you or be connected with you on the internet, how do we do that? Give us some contact details.

Chananya (32:37.474)

So people can check out my podcast. It's available anywhere podcast where you might listen to them. So that's Parenting is Easy podcast. And the title of the podcast itself is Parenting is Easy, said no and never. But you could find it under Parenting is Easy. There's a little cartoon character of me and a little teenager climbing out of a window. So that's my podcast.

And you can also see me on my website for therapy. If you have any questions you want to reach out, that would be CUAtherapy.com. That's C-Y-U-A-H therapy.com. And on Instagram, which I'm starting to get a little bit into, it's not something that I was that active until recently. That would be parentingiseasy said no. The number one ever is the handle for Instagram.

Jamie (33:24.23)

Fantastic. Kananya Abraham, thank you for being on the show. Thanks for your generosity. We'll put those in the show notes. Thanks for being with us.

Chananya (33:31.767)

Thanks for having me.

Jamie (33:33.17)

Cheers, bye for now.